I'm Sick

i'm such an unhappy ger lately...yet still putting up a smiley face each day....i have no idea what's wrong with me either. Will i go crazy one day? Maybe i would...

i juz wana be free and go somewhere to be by myself. Enjoy the peace i longed for and hear what my heart's telling me. Havent had time to do that for a long long time. Tears simply flow down my cheeks too easily...way too easily.....

i have no idea when was the last time i had a good nite sleep...when was the last time i truly smiled from my heart?i'm 23...a critical age i would say..at least for me. Where next?What next?And How?? Am i doing things rite? Am i making the rite decisions? i duno.....what do i want??Life's full of challenges....this i know...it takes alot to overcome them....this i know too.....but i'm juz so tired.....physically and mentally...i'm so scared! Of wat i duno....

What do i know??Everyone ard me's facing problems too.....its so scary...Why is life so miserable at times?Is the Big Guy up there really watching over us each day? i bet he is...maybe he's juz taking a break from me....ya he muz be...

i'm so afraid to fall asleep each nite becoz i know after i wake up...it'll be a brand a new day of challenge waiting for me. I have never been this vulnerable....hate this feeling...but wat can i do? Where that cheerful and optimistic Vic that i know? in the closet maybe.....lost and tired...

No more dreams pls......

survived yet another stressful and crazy evening......

Vic Vic.....stay happy......Be happy.....gota stay focused...never lose track and stay strong.SMILEE!

Dear Lord....

i pray for the strength...the Faith to believe...forgive our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Pls do not put us to the test but protect us from all evil..pls look after us and i trust that you will never leave us..Amen

I'm Getting FAT!

AGM's wedding day!


Me & Shermeen!


SMILE!!!


hmmm.....had a not so good sat but a fantastic sunday!both becoz of my dumb dumb toh! :) recieved a pair of nice pearly earrings last wkend thou!love it!

haiz...damn broke this mth....cant wait for end of the mth...can do my xmas shopping!!this yr gota buy extra present....coz of baby josh!!he's sooo cute!hehehe!!

I really miss drinking alot!!so wana take my shots.....and my vodka lime....i want i want!!

Work today is alright....Winnie juz came back from the States..COOL!!but everything's ex there.....she spend US$70 on 1 cab fare!!OMG!!!that's probly how much i'll spend on cab here for a mth!hahahahah.............got a Mickey keychain from her thou..SWEET!

Gota go Yoga this week or next already...getting so fat!never weigh but i juz feel so fat!hahahah!!festive season coming somemore!oh no!!!!!!!!BUTTTT...i always love Xmas...hehehe!!can buy and receive presents!!!WEEEEEEEE.........

ok...time to go send my resumes already......

Women Vs Fairy Tale

"No, nothing like that. Its has more to do with the way you interact with women. You carry yourself with the sort of confidence that alot of women find appealing. At the same time, i had the sense that you understand what women want, but that for some reason you're unwilling to give yourself completely."

What's that got to do with anything?"

"Women want the fairy tale. Not all women, of course, but most women grow up dreaming abt the kind of man who would risk everything for them, even knowing they might get hurt."

Just finished reading Nicholas Sparks "True Believer"...as usual...his books never fail to touch my heart..:)

Vic's Ulu Dreamy Island

its tue!!nothing to be happy abt really....but well!we ought to cheer ourselves up at times isnt it?

was talking to jess online earlier on msn...planning for xmas...haha!!soon man!!so excited!guess no longer in the clubbing mode anymore..a simple dinner will be great...

wk's alright today...i shd say everyone's in a pretty relax mood these 2 weeks so i'm still doing fine FOR NOW.I always feel that i dun belong to earth..maybe i'm adopted..my real parents shd be from Jupiter or something...i dun even have the mentality of a human,the lifestyle of a Singaporean...wat am i???

i used to think i'm such a practical/sceptical bitch but i came to realise i'm not quite...love or bread..i seriously might chose love over bread.Always think it'll be great to leave everything and settle at Vic's Ulu Dreamy Island....ok...i'm talking crap!time to go to MY dreamland now.......

Feeling so hungry now..........

It has been a long long time...

Wowww....havent been blogging for a long long time!no idea if there'll still be ppl popping in..anyhow...got lots to update!!haha!!(see pics attached)

Life's still sucky at work...have finally decided to quit end dec(after AWS!)latest latest by end Jan....I had enough...when Vic says its enough..its ENOUGH!!been a SLAVE for $$ for nearly a yr..its enough man...i know there's no perfect job but dun think i shd make myself so uphappy every single day...end up being unhappy abt everything and everybody ard me...no more complains or grumbling.....:)

Went Thailand with uncle toh, wanxia and her bf end of sept....SHOPPPPING PARADISE!loveeee the bags i bought baby!!hahah!!uncle toh was simply AMAZED!hahah!!wana go there again man!!most imptly..i spent 4 quality days with uncle toh...

This mth's also Jess and Mic's bday....missed clubbing on mic's bday....i'm sorry dear..promise to make it up to u k??if u're reading this...we go on a fri want??PROMISE to drink and dance with u till the club close!!!ON???endless of ur disgusting gin tonic and my nice nice vodka lime!bottoms up all the way!!!DEAL??

How can i not mention my dear baby josh!!he's sooo adorable and getting soooo big!!oh my....juz look how much he've grown....scary man.....but he's such a darling.......*winkz*

So many weddings coming up man....this Sat's my boss wedding..Nov Sam's wedding...Dec Amanda's...Oh man!!!!ok lah...suppose to be a happy affair right?ya right!!

Having stiff neck these 3 days....killing me man..but went to see a sinseh last night...so much better today...thou still in pain but at least not feeling so pek chek..thank u baby for putting up with my nonsenses the last 2 days....:)

How time flies ya.....its mid Oct already....Nov, Dec and that's the end of another yr!!oh man.....wat have i actually done over the last yr??

Ok...time to go online and start sending i nmy resumes.......Dear Lord..pls pls watch over me like u always do...Amen


Nice Tee!





Yummmmy!








Make a Wish~!


Rare Pic of me & Jess!


My Uncle Toh...looking quite gd..;)


Invited to an event @ Club Momo


COLGATE COMMERCIAL!


We're working..really..:)

y am i here on earth?

ya...y am i here?y am i such a cry baby lately?i always have been but so much so that i've been crying myself to sleep for the past few days. i no longer am the happy and chirpy vic..yes...no longer...where's the old me?i have no idea....will i sink into depression?pls let me be if that allows me to escape from reality for that little while....

Where and wat's my motivation in life?there's no meaning in life anymore...am i asking for too much?everything & anything?maybe i am....but life is not worth living anymore..Dear Lord...bring me to You now...tonight if u want....if You do love me then dun let me be alive tmr.........

*kill me*

so tired....so stressed.....so shaq....dying again....

practically complaining and whining to everyone on msn earlier.....sucks man!!Thanks Rach for bearing with me for a good 15mins....listening to my endless complains!!so needed someone to talk to for the whole day!!else muz juz DIE!!so wanted to go drinking with Val but well I CANT MAKE IT!havent been like that for a while!!the next 2 weeks will be even worse...no wkend to look forward to....this wkend burn...next week too!! ARRGHHHH!!!what's life w/o wkend now?????????????????????????????someone kill me pls..........how much more shit can i take?am i asking myself that question?oh ya...think i have for the past few days....i'm living a NO LIFE life again.....dun wana do anything now...wat can i do?haiz....i'll go sleep

LEAVE ME ALONE

Dept Trip to Coccolatte *winkZ*

The below pics are all self explainary ya...too tired to type and write man.So tired and stressed up lately....hope next week will be good or better. Tomorrow got bloody roadshow at Civic Plaza...9am - 10pm!Hate roadshows...super duper tiring plus end of the day will have no mood for anything but Zzzzz!!There goes my precious weekend....thank God i'm only on duty for a day...Sunday BETTER BE GOOD!else the whole of next week will be bad.......................so tired.Zzzzzzz gota wake up at 7am!!OMG!!


'official' trip


*sweet*


my buddy @ work


Ajin's a teacher!

Charity Shield Match

Charity Shield(Arsenal vs Chelsea) -Arsenal lost..*sob*


secret corner at chijmes!


my dumb
dumb toh


nice stairs...

The New Joy in Our Life...

Yes he's Baby Josh...OUR baby josh..hahaha!!!cant wait for him to crawl...for him to walk...for him to talk....Ohhh!!!!


Baby Josh!


he's floating!

Pls DUn Wake Me Up....

jess finally gave birth to baby josh ytd!the joy i saw on her face was simply unbelievable....as much as she looked really in pain and tired...the happiness and joy was way too empowering.Will never understand that YET of coz...but i truly am able to share her joy.....AND BABY JOSH's SOOOO CUTE!!so small yet so big...knw wat i mean....

Might go visit her at her place sometime later this week and cant wait to see baby josh again....he looks so much like jimmy!!jess IS disappointed but well...who cares!!he's a healthy baby and that's all that matters.....will keep both jess and josh in my prayers.Once again u cant help thanking HIM for creating new life....all the Angels watching over us each day....how miraculous isnt it?A life being born juz like that...i NEVER fancy kids but seeing all the new born at the hospital ytd,it was amazing...the anxious yet joyous faces of the new parents...simply amazing....it juz make one smile from within,and for once i truly understood that statement.

How Jess changed over the last year or so....from our non stop clubbing...endless shots,puffing the nite away,dancing like no tmr....to putting a stop to everything,healthy lifestyle,marriage,wedding,to having a baby.Sometimes i really believe women are indeed stronger than men in many way...well maybe not physically but mentally we really are.We seem to have no limits...thou men always feel we have!our limits can ALWAYS be extended somehow or rather...unlike men.Alright...this can go on & on...

Was off ytd,today still feeling so stress at wk....no idea y either.Going to wk's a drag lately.....like what i wrote in my letter to Val,my only console in life now is the wkend.The only thing to look forward to each week...how sad rite?So if my wkend's bad..that's it.I so wana juz rest and do nothing,really nothing...nothing to look forward to...if only time can stop for juz a day...juz one day....a stressfree day...a brainless day.......i'm dying......telling myself that since duno when...i'm so tired...mentally and physically...i really am!Dear Lord....help me...

Going to IKEA with Aishah tmr.....wanted to go there since duno when also...thought wanted to go today...but well...dun wana talk abt it.Shall go with Aishah tmr after wk..since its SOO near my wkplace...no idea what i wana get but IKEA seems like a stressless place....

Think i'm having the flu bug and coughing fits....would be cheering before but not now.....so cant fall sick!so many deadlines to meet..intense pressure at work..like what winnie said during lunch today...we can die but cant fall sick coz taking mc will be an excuse and at the end of the day its not the number of days u wk but the things u accomplished....HOW SAD YA!!dun feel loved somemore.....as much as i know i shouldnt be saying this.Well....i'm tired....really am....nite....can i not wake up tmr?i hope so......

My Trip to the ZOO!

Went Zoo with Uncle Toh on sunday..hehehe!!finally!!!!after like errrmmm..duno how long!weather was good on sunday..thank God man!Thou was still sweating..but well at least there's no sun...

Saw many animal shows...and they are all so cuteeeee!!my fave is the sunbears and chimps of coz!!hehehehe!!

k too tired to blog today.....gona catch incredible tales later!oooh.....scary!hahaha!!


opps...we blocked the view..:)


me and deerie


so cuteee!!


Welcome to Ethiopia!


Arrgghh!!!


Sunbears!


Ah meng!!

Saturday?

its 1.30pm on a Sat afternoon but i'm home alone.....how sad...

I'll set off for Novena at 2pm then....

Cried last night...still cant help crying now....

How True....

I finally understood how simple words can have such great impact on someone.We learnt something new each day and i learnt mine today too.

A casual remark that made me stay awake till now.....there's a saying: Devil's home is in our mouth...how true....

Tears just cant help streaming down my cheeks....for how long i have no idea...till when i have no idea either.....anyone care at this moment?i have no idea too but i guess not.....

What should i do?

i'm stressed....i'm tired....i'm confused..i'm lost....i'm angry....i'm sad....i'm unhappy.....i'm scared...and i'm crying......

Leave me Alone pls...

There's so much building up in me now...or should i say its over the yrs.So much emotions in me,so many things i wana express but cant do it,never could and never seem to now either. Some ppl couldnt understand me in the past and i believe HE cant too at this very moment...

I dun think ever in my life have i short-change anyone.I may not give my best but at least i try my best. Especially ppl close to me...ppl whom i really have been thru thick and thin with. Rach,Mic and Val especially...we dun have to say much but deep down we know what we've been thru..the good,the bad,tears,joy...arguments at times....but never did we doubt each other's intention. We may not have been thru everything in life but at least i know i can count on them..anytime.

Why am i not feeling the same with him?Have been feeling that for awhile...but it was all confirmed tonight.I may not be the best person in this world but i'm sure i wouldnt be the worst.If ppl cant even picture me as someone whom they can depend on in the long run..then i'm such a failure isnt it?Probly i really am....

It took me awhile to come out of my Vic's World..was it a wrong move?I have nothing to offer but my heart....if anything else is required...i'm sorry but i guess i'll have to return back to Vic's World...juz me and me alone....dun bother abt me....and leave me alone......

Its 12.50am

So stressed up at wk these few weeks....dun seem like it but i really am...deep inside i'm dying..yes dying!!duno how long i can keep my smile...but i'll TRY......

Sometimes i wonder....do i really need to vent my anger or fustration to show or prove that i'm really stressed?so the whole world knows and can be excused for whatever wrong i do....i wish i could at times....

Havent been attending Novena for a long time...time for confession...carrying so much sin....I promise you Lord that i'll attend Novena this Sat. I know its only You that will see me thru the darkest moments in my life. Its only You that will see right thru me and its also thru You that i can truly be myself. Be weak..be vulnerable..be small. Its also You Lord that will grant me Peace, everlasting Peace..

Remember,most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought your intercession, was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, i fly to you, Virgin of virgins, my Mother. To you i come, before you i stand, sinful and sorrowful. Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petition, but in you mercy hear and answer me. Amen

Finally Met up with VAL!

i missed her....


Val & her bf!


me & my dear VAL!


in love is written all over her face!


my dumb dumb toh..


i love this pic :)


Nick,Val,Moi & Uncle Toh

Went KTV with Val and her bf last Sat!hehhe!!so happy...finally got to see her!pass her her birthday pressie!So happy for her....found someone that love and treat her good! happy happy!can tell she's happy too! Havent seen her for quite a while already...hehee!!see if she's free this Fri night..we can all go Mdm Wong!!yippy!!Maybe next week go East Coast roller blade...(not like i know)..but i wana learn!!

So much happened over the wkend...or shd i say on Sat!need not say....the incident at SAFRA Mt Faber was splash all over the news....i'm fine...evacuated juz in time...juz little coughing but i'm fine...not too sure abt the kids thou but last heard they were fine....haiz...not suppose to comment so shall leave it for when i meet up with my frds..

For those who sms to ask if i was ok...thanks!appreciate that alot.....:)

So ashame to say this...finally attended Mass on Sunday...reason so was that i knew it was Him that prompt me to leave my office when the accident occur....a very strong calling that i had to go out to check out what is happening.......so i went Mass to Sunday to give Him thanks.....

Our Father in heaven, holy be your name; your Kingdom come; your will be done on Earth as in Heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against us. Do not bring us to the test but deliver us from evil.Amen.

This's CRAZY!

Met up with the gers for dinner today...we had 'mala steamboat' buffet at Bugis!quite nice....and its only $15!!realise that we all do not like the steamboat buffet at marina south!!haha...i personally dun like it at all....so smoky...food not TOO hygenic...so crowded...the atmosphere is juz very wrong lah!hahaha.....this one is so nice.......good service....not too bad food..and CHEAP!hahahahah

So scary....Jess's gona give birth anytime from 19 July onwards!!!Its only abt 2 weeks'time man....aiyo!Hehehe....got a watch from the gers today....my bday present...SWEET!the DKNY watch!!i love it!thanks u ppl!! :) tomorrow..or shd i say today's Val's birthday! We went to Lee Hwa to get her a very nice cross pendant....price's quite reasonable too....Lee Hwa having up to 50%!hehehe.....but no $$...

Meeting Val tmr...finally!!!hehehe!!cant wait to see her...honestly missing her man!!shall update more photos tmr!!

So stressful at work today....i believe it'll be all the way till sept man...so much so that i dun even wana go to wk tmr!!!!so many things piling in my in-tray!!ARRGGHHH!!!scary....so little time but SO MUCH things to do....so much pressure from mgmt too...the emails from them's killing me really...."....busy is never a reason but an excuse..we never take busy for an excuse.if anyone is to use busy as a reason,pls think twice". well this email is not targeted at me of coz!but its sent to our dept....everyone's feeling the pressure....and its sent by our Deputy GM....sian!!

Haiz...its Fri baby...shall not think too much!so wana watch Fantastic 4....but my com duno wat's wrong..can't log on to make booking...slow maybe!!hope tmr still got tickets.....else will be so disappointing....:(

Shall go sleep liao.....too much of my brain cells were killed today....toooo tired...mentally and physically......Zzzzzzzzzz

* Mic,my breath still smell so much of garlic!


Our 'mala' steamboat buffet


she's BIG!


bag courtesy of rachel!so sweet.....


where's our dear val.....:(


haiz...that's rach..


pregnant woman's the prettiest!

Uncle Toh's Bday

And how could i forget to post these pictures....not much but juz a few taken ytd....Zzzzzzzzzzzz....*dreaming & drooling by now*


he's really not THAT ugly


Uncle Toh the housekeeper :)


Boy Boy Toh...


I love my shades~!


NICE...taken by accident

I want my beauty sleep back....

This will sound stupid...but i juz found out how to change the size of my pictures...wahaha!!well..at least i did...:)

Went WALA with Rach and Mic last Thurs...for the whole nite i had only beer!!unbelievable!i didnt even think of ordering black russian!hahahaha!!probly coz its not in the 1 for 1 list...hehehe!!cheapskate!but had great fun out with them.....catch up on alot of stuff...GOSSIPS!hehehe!!we stayed till 12+ before heading home...as usual...refer to pictures....shan't say much...*lazy*

So tired!was Uncle Toh's birthday ytd...MAN HE's 26!!hehehe!!he juz got promoted to super uncle toh....hehehe!!haiz...but well he's sleeping by now i bet.....wat's new....i have a bf who doesnt like to talk on the phone AT ALL......

Quite busy the whole day today....its usually the case on Mondays....bet this will be a stressful week...already see it coming..but I'm VIC!wat's stress man!haha!!wish i could really say that man!!meeting the gers for steamboat this Thu...probly the last gathering with Jess b4 she gives birth...so exciting!!!cant wait to see baby Josh...heheh!!afterwhich Fri will be meeting Val for a drink...FINALLY!!!!hehee!!so much to look forward this week....shall update again then.....TOOOO tired....eyes are closing....-_-




My Dear Old Rach...


Act Cute Gers


We simply adore the camera!


WALA's yummy pizza...errr..i juz said its YUMMY


my new love...BEER!


aiyo!!aunty Lok!


Love her!


YEAH!


Cheezzzee