Me & Uncle Toh over the weekend

Recently weekends have become very precious to me and uncle toh....too tired to blog..uploaded some pic we took over the weekend.......*smilez*


Pearl Centre Carpark


:)


uncle toh look so errmmm....


us acting cute again...


Yeah!


Wat duhhh....

Lost Girl...

Tears stream down my cheeks after hanging up the phone....juz couldnt help it.....especially so when i know he'll never know.......

Tried very hard to be the understanding ger for the past few weeks....but realised i'm not that good at it.......not even close.......but i know i tried.....i really did....this is the best i can do....which is nothing.....

Having this gastric cramp....cant relax...have this 'crampy'/'burning' feeling.....cant eat too full..yet cant go hungry....have been feeling shitty for the whole day...cant take mc coz i got so many things to follow up...thought wanted to tmr but got meeting...then got all my datelines to meet.....WELL!!at least i know mama cares for me....ask me how i am 1st thing in the morning,made me breakfast,called to ask if i got eat lunch...then called again to ask if i'm ok,cook sucky porridge for me....at least i know someone cares......

meeting the gers tmr for dinner!!will try to make more time for them....maybe meeting rach for movie or something over the weekend....since i'm not wking on Sat..

Have been thinking alot tonight and finally get my priorities right.........i muz never rely on anything or anyone too much...probly that's the reason i'm feeling like i do now......Yes..Vic is thinking.....alot....cant be that emotional baby anymore........

Brad........Pitt....

gona sleep early today..my dear unle toh went to watch STAR WARS with his friends...no one to disturb me..wahaha!!so tired still go and catch 9.45pm show...CRAZY rite?!

so fast fast...its coming june!mid of the yr and its the GSS!!time to shop shop shop again!!shoes...bags here i come!!wahahaa!!while blogging i'm also surfing ebay see see what i can buy..so many nice stuff!!i used to enjoy buying stuff from ebay..esp from US...so cheap..juz gota pay postage....but nowadays not much time on hand to do serious e-shopping man!

mic juz msg me to go drinking tmr...yippy!always happy when ppl ask me to go drinking..no idea y either...hahah!!wonder when can we club like before.....all night drinking...dancing like no tmr....club hopping.....gone are the days i guess.....

Caught the show House of Wax over the wkend.....not too bad...quite gross thou...!Chad Michael's damn sexy in that show!!*drool big time* i like......hahaha!!!anyway...so many nice shows coming up.....wana watch Monster in Law...coming out this week.....Cursed..think out Jun 2...and the veery much anticipated MR & MRS SMITH on June 9!!!!!i already have that poster hanging in my office....BRAD PITT................the ultimate SEX GOD....okok...time to sleep VIC!!

gona meet my Brad now....nite!

i'm dead

ARSENAL WON!!!!!YIPPPPIEEE!!!!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Did roadshow for the WHOLE FUCKING DAY...i'm seriously tired....or shd i say i'm dead....my shoulder,neck,and back's killing me.....yes...killing me...so many times i feel like crying coz the pain's so unbearable and damn irritating me...i so cannot take it!it feels like i was beaten on my back by 20 guys!lower back's sooo irritating me...now even the shoulder!!URRRGGHHHH.......

so pain till cant sleep again.....i so hate this...so fucking tired yet the pain is ARRGHH!!wat i'm a little disappointed is that uncle toh never seem to understand that...................he always tries to but many a times his expression juz give him away........duno if he ever realise but that expression always makes me hate myself.i feel so obligated to do many things and if i fail to i'll be so upset with myself.......i so hate this feeling.........i'm feeling it tonight again......i really dun like the feeling of being forced into doing things i dun like to....but i have been feeling that way for the past 2 weeks......

Haiz...hungry....its already 3.20am!no choice...juz gota go sleep and hope my pain and fear will go away......the pain's so bad till i dun even feel like waking up.....

I'M LONELYYYYY

The chorus is specially dedicated/sang to my Uncle Toh...he doze off AGAIN!!haiz...I'm SOO LONELY......*winkzz*

Lonely I'm Ms Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Ms. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got that one good girl whose always been there like ya Kno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I was feenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad, cuz ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Ms. Lonely (Ms. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuck
Around and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, I
Really wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Ms. Lonely (Ms. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made me be so happy but now so lonely


I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Ms. Lonely (Ms. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt hope you'd be gone this long, I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl and come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished Id ever hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Ms. Lonely (Ms. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Ms. Lonely, so lonely

i'm awake!!

definitely wana catch Man-U vs Arsenal match this Sat!BUT........i wking till 10pm!!stupid event....haiz!!and the match starts at 9.55pm!howwww?!!!no matter wat will go watch man!hellloo...its Arsenal winning the FA cup lor...how can i miss it?!!haha!!Uncle toh wouldnt be too happy to read this thou....BUT STILL!!!GO GUNNERS GO!!wahaha!!

So tired but cant get to sleep...no idea y man...so many thing on my mind recently.Work has been crazy...the intense pressure is out of control man!feeling scared every nite that things might not be done and what else have to be done...blah blah...its endless man!!ENDLESS!!duno how long my pwunny head can take all this shit but well, hate to say this....life blardy hell goes on!so stress lately....hair looking like shit,face in bad condition,dun even bother dressing up to work....how sad rite......

Cant wait for this long weekend thou!!half day on fri!going to the gym!meeting the gers!!getting paid!!YIPPY!!so many things wana buy...........cant wait!PAY DAY!PAY DAY!PAY DAY!!!!PAY DAY!!

OUCHHHH

my back's aching again...dun think can have a good nite sleep tonite man!!haiz!!so tired yet cant sleep....how painful is that isnt it?!my back's not exactly painful kinda ache...its more of the irritating kinda ache....its making one feel so URRGEEEEE!!!!!actually was already pretty bad ytd ...sort of gotten worse today.....my back's feeling so numb,its like there's a big plaster stuck on my back...*CRRRY*

suppose to go drinking with val but she gota work OT so decided not to....met up with my uncle toh instead!!hahaha!!not that bad after all...

the past 2 days was very much hell for me....work sucks big time!!so many things to do...hard to get along superior...datelines datelines dateline!!paying me peanuts to take up such huge responsibilities and gota be put under such intense pressure..gota ans for mistakes that are not created by me....haiz....dun wana bring it up again....its over anyway....

so hungry now......so very very hungry.........feel like eating prata!!!!!!!!!haiz...shd probly try to get some sleep and dream of my prata.........

JESS is back in town!!

after so long.....


we're back!


moi & the sexy mama!!


cool!


the buddy meeting session for uncle toh...


CHEEZEEE!!


CHEEEZEE AGAIN!!

Finally get to go drinking with our dear old jess!!she had red wine lah...so its alright!!i have my OOWWWWWW black russian!!after sooo long!!hahaha!!was a short one but i truly enjoy it very much!!wat i really like...a simple drink with friends.It was quite last min...they msg me ard 5+ to ask if i wana go WALA then i was like y not?!i will never give up the chance to meet up with them nor the chance to drink!!hahaha!!was suppose to meet another frd today but well as usual she cant make it....wat's new anyway?!think i asked her 3 times and always end up not meeting....i seriously will not try for the 4th time......i have other frds that i treasure more man!!hahaha!!at least i know i tried!!

Went WALA and saw jess's bro there as well!!haha!luckily i brought camera!!nowadays i never leave home w/o my cam....haiz...so missed the times when me and the gers go clubbing and drinking...but guess we all grow up and proceed to different stages in life...Jess's gona name her baby JOSH!!so cool rite!!nice name!!!my potential godson's name is JOSHHH!hehehe!!really touched that Val have been doing her best to meet up with us despite her busy schedule...that's wat frds are for...always there at the rite time...felt quite bad when i couldnt go dbo with her last wed so decided to go today to make it up!!i'm not that of a bad frd afterall rite...waahaha!!

so pissed and disappointed with uncle toh...the juz have to end my lovely day like that...haiz....as usual he didnt realise it and went to sleep.......yes that's my bf...

SAFRA annual D&D

My first company D&D and guess wat...its actually at SAFRA Mt Faber..my office is at Mt Faber which honestly made it worse!!juz one floor down onlY!!everyone so dun have the mood!!but well it was alright lah...not THAT bad....hahhaa!!!the theme was circus...so DUHH rite...hahaha!!!the food seriously suck BIG TIME!!!!aiyo!!!everyone was like...ewww!!!everything ended at abt 1.30am....but i left ard 12.30 coz uncle toh came to fetch me,plus the fact that it was indeed boring towards the end...ok lah!!lazy to write...juz look at the pictures ya!!


the pretty gers of SAFRA!haha


my colleagues and boss


me & my manager

*snore*

went KL with uncle toh during the long weekend....thought it was meant to be my shopping trip BUT who knows its actually my uncle toh that shops like no tomorrow!!!hahaha!!bought so many polo T......

Well think we both were kinda looking forward for that trip since we already hardly have time for each other...so that 3 days's really well deserve and we did enjoy ourselves...like wat uncle toh always say..its not where but who that matters.

We stayed at Berjaya Time Square and MAN that place's BIG!!so many many many shops!!y cant spore have a shopping mall like that too???everything under one roof kind...hahaha!!!

So busy at wk lately....and i meant REALLLLY busy..busy and tired....so much so that thou its a wed today yet i'm home....cant believe i turn down val today!!haiz...i really wana go for my weekly dose of shots but.....seriously cannot take it!!tmr gota wk OT...fri got company d&d.....next weekend burn again!!got event....haiz!!today's a super stressful day for me...irritated and pissed was written all over my face and i simply hate that feeling yet i cant help it......so many things to do..soooo many datelines....intense pressure...so much till i cant take it!!my back's aching AGAIN!!!till its making me so pek chek.....i hate that feeling too...wana go c a doc but no time...by the time i get home already wat time.....wkend also no time...haiz!!!HELPPPPP!!!!!!


lovey dovey...


my dear uncle toh...


wat were we thinking?!!


taking a break and trying to be funny again


the ever famous KL zouk!


2 adorable monkeys!!


in our hotel room


still smiling on the last day!!

what's the blady prob with guys?!

seriously how much more dumb,idiotic,insensitive can a guy get???i honestly dun wana know!!pissed & angry's written all over my face yet nothing's done......well one may be really really insensitive to not know the reason y that ger's angry but is he really that dumb to not at least notice that the ger IS angry????gers never mean wat they say rite!!when we say no does it really mean NO?!!GOD HELP ME!

is pacifiying gf THAT much of a chore to a guy????say,do,buy,or even try to do something....is it really so tough??are gers really that hard to please????all we need is juz that bit more love,that bit more attention and that more sweet talk isnt it???

sleeping in the train,going to sleep when guy got home....that all seems quite normal but not when one know his gf's angry with him rite?!?!!!haiz......probly i'm really asking for way too much....way way too much.........or am i??well...like rach say..if he can go sleep then y shd i cry or lose sleep??ya man....nite peeps!

me & mama!


my relatives,puppy & mama


my family & granny

Its a beautiful monday!

its my monday off once again!wahaha!!slept till 11 this morning...slack ard...bath,gg to the gym after this then gg to buy my levis jeans!wahah!!shop shop ard....how nice!I LOVE SHOPPING!!juz got paid but quite broke already...bills bills bills!!!

my weekend was alright...went to my cousin's wedding dinner at Marriot on fri...food was good!haha!!Sat was bad...gota work!Ytd was alright....spent the whole day with uncle toh...went shopping at suntec..its him doing all the shopping really!!afterwhich had dinner with my relatives at Long Beach...know uncle toh dread it but well he practically had no choice!wahaha!!later in the evening we went to rent vcd at this 24hrs vcd rental thingy near my place...quite cool!haha!!rented 50 first dates...quite nice!

So looking forward to the end of this week!!!going KL with Uncle Toh this long weekend!!so exciting!!!finally gg on a trip after soo long!haiz....thou its KL but still!!its out of spore!!hahaha!!

How time flies isnt it?!its May already!!!!we're already into the mid of 2005!!!man!!!scary............

Alright...gota go return vcd then going to gym..after sooo very long!!wahaah~!at least i do ok!!*smilez*

1

lalalalalalala mode

juz before the match


smile!


dustbin's so in the way..


reading back my last blog..i do sound really dumb...but that was indeed how i felt at that point...so no regrets!hahahaha plus with the endless love of uncle toh...hmmmm.....nothing else quite matter at the end of the day...*smile*

the above pictures were taken at boat quay ytd..juz before Newcastle via Man-U match.well man-u won 4-1....ya baby...wait till they meet ARSENAL in the finals!it'll probly be 4-1 to Arsenal...wahahaha!!!

haiz....its monday once again!!sian!!work's seriously piling up!!getting crazy each day!got like 101 write ups waiting to write...endless man!!i'll be off on fri...so cant wait for thurs!!!gota wk on sat thou...so pretty dumb!still!!!its a day off so watever........and fri's payday!!!*evil grin*

Vic's Shopping List (FOR THE MOMENT)
Levis jeans CONFIRM!!!
Topshop pants/skirt/top everything there!!!
DKNY Watch (still thinking...hmmM)
SHOESSSSSSS!
BAGSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!

i wana go shopping this wkend 4 sure!!deprive from REAL shopping for so blardy long...its abt time baby.....hhahahaa!!!going KL next week thou...which means more shopping!!oh nooooooo!!!!Vic's getting out of hand!wahaha!!*drama mama*

k....not quite in the mood to write...Mic know u'll be reading,pls pls be strong and msg me if u want someone to talk to k??BE STRONG my ger! :)

juz before the match

Tired

i'm simply too tired.....mind and body......tooo tired...can anyone understand?

I'm Lost again.....

Juz back from drinking with val...suppose to feel good but somehow somewhere within me i'm feeling so sad...so sad that i dun even feel like sleeping...how i hate this feeling....really sleepy yet can't sleep.

Feeling so insecure abt everything ard me,with myself.Lost all the trust that i thought i've built over the last mth or so...gone in the wind!Another lesson learnt:never bear hopes in anything,yes..anything!The higher the hopes....the more disappointment one will get!Ever had the feeling of looking into someone's eyes and feel that everything's so wrong?A pair of eyes looking at u so deeply yet u still feel insecure...you juz cant't seem to figure wat's going in his mind..that's exactly how i'm feeling now......

Over the last mth or so i've honestly tried my very best to open up,to come out of Vic's world,learning how to trust..how to love again,be the me that i always wanted to be,how to share as a couple,voice out when i'm not happy and not avoiding when a problem arise.But apparently i'm wrong..so wrong!i should never have trusted so soon,fall so soon,come out of my world so soon & be so vulnerable.I never should have left my comfort zone to an area i'm so not used to,a world that seems so cold and so distant.Vic Vic....when will u ever learn ur lesson?!!?DAMN ME!

It may be a little pwuny effort but i really am putting in my best each day...probly not my very best but after all the hurt i've been put thru over the yrs...its seriously my very best....in my context at least.....

i know i'm being the emotional baby once again but i juz need to get this off tonight else i know i'll wash my face with tears tonight.....which i already am now....

My 21st bday wish 2 yrs back was to be truly happy for the next few 21 yrs of my life and i'm wking towards that every single day of my life....even till now i still pray for miracle.When i attend Novena..i ask for nothing but Peace and Happiness...every night when i pray i ask the Lord for His Grace of Peace and Happiness.....

How on earth can one be feeling so happy and loved juz 36hrs ago but yet now feeling so shitty...

Guardian Angel.....where r u when i need u the most???

Told u i'll be back.....*winkz*

our dear old jess's 5mths pregnant


me & rach with the sexy mama!




Finally met up with our 5mths pregnant jess!she's looking good....way better than she did 2 mths ago...hahaha!!that's a good sign....went PS for lunch on sunday..too bad mic & val cant make it!!but there's always another day....haha!!no worries...more to come i believe..as her tummy gets bigger & bigger each day!she told us that she can feel her little boy kicking her now...hmmmmm!!!BOYSSSS...wahahah!!she also share with us how marriage life has been so far.....interesting.....*smile*

Havent been blogging for pretty long.....usually tired after i come home....so basically NO TIME!wahaha!work's alright..so far so good...but damn my back's hurting again....had massage ytd but apparently its of NO HELP at all.......sian!!its basically my spine and lower back that hurts not the back muscle that's y massage dun help bah....NO IDEA!!!

So feel like dancing & clubbing these few days...BADLY!but dun really wana go on wed coz i know i'll stay till very late.....thurs gota blardy hell work....but after not paying cover for nearly a yr or so,the thought of going on fri and forking out 15 to 20 over bucks is like...should i!?!know what i mean.....hahaha!!well....i'll go think abt that...*winkz* but still i want my weekly dose of booze.....val juz asked if i wana go..wahahaha!!!got kaki surely go mah..free somemore...yes i'm damn cheapskate when it comes to drinking...

Manage to catch quite a few shows lately...most recent being The Pacifier...Vin Diesel's SSSEEEEEXXXYYYY...men in white T,cargo pants...how much more sexier can a man get??!!?!that's wat Brad Pitt look REAAAAL good in as well....*drooling*i always believe that a good nice cargo pants is all a man ever need...with a nice pair of sandals....*died of excitment* wahahah!!but that show's really nice....Be cool's not too bad either...black comedy,wat i enjoy....but the plot's really bad thou....

Time to bath...............................................and zzzz!!*snore*

me & uncle toh...

Let us all pray for our Holy Father

havent been blogging for a long long time already!too busy to really....today's my off day...man how i enjoyed it!!!1 full day of sleeping.....damn how i missed this!!havent had much sleep for the past few weeks...its indeed a well deserve rest for me!wahaha!!

went drinking with rach & val last wed and so much emotions within 4hrs...seeing val like she did was the most heart-broken thing ever for me for the longest time.Me & rach were totally lost for words and the least we could do was to be by her side.Seeing her breakdown was like....shitty.guess she bottle up for way too long..its abt time we believe.cried for half hr after going home too...no idea y but i juz did.Probly i can truly feel how she felt...duno.seeing a gd frd having to go thru wat she is gg thru is simply too much bah....heart broken's the word really...

I'm living in LOVE LAND for the past few weeks too...wahaha!!havent felt so loved for way too long.Have met someone who taught me how to love again...feeling so blessed.Never thought i would ever say this but i probly have met the love of my life....after so many yrs i never thought i could ever trust again but somehow somewhere for the last few weeks....there's a brand new meaning to the word Trust for me.*smile*


A final prayer....

Jesus said."Abide in Me, and I in you... for apart from Me you can do nothing."
John 15:4-5

Our Holy Father may no longer be with us on Earth but he's back in God's Kingdom,in the arms of our Heavenly Father.Be sad no more as its God's Will to take him away...We juz have to believe that God always have His plans for us.......

I'll be back!

too tired and busy lately to update my blog lately...but i'll be back!!

i'm sick again....

My dear Vic, I know you will be reading this. I know you dont feel comfortable talking about what had been bothering and haunting you and hence, I have refrained myself from asking you. And another part of me is just so afraid to see you breaking down in front of me. Though I know I would wipe your tears, give you a big hug and tell you everything is gonna be fine. But yet, I know I would feel so damn hurt and I wont brush off the possibility that I might just drop my tears together with you. It just hurts my heart to see my close friend so down. Girl, I dont know what more can I do for you, all I can say is everything is gonna be fine, just open up your heart and embrace everything with two open arms. Alway remember, I am just eight numbers away. Just a ring and I will be there for you, be it a phone conversation, a drinking session or a heart-to-heart talking session.Be strong, girl. Look at me, I had stood strong and so must you! Loving you loads always. *hugs*

gota start off by thanking my DEAREST CLOSEST TO MY HEART MIC...hahaha!!that was wat u said to me too ya....yes..i will definitely read ur blog..really touched..thanks for respecting me and choosing not to probe & question me..no worries i'm doing fine...i juz need time..lots of it....feeling very insecure abt alot of things...probly uncertain...i honestly juz need time...i'll be strong!*smile* y cant ppl close to me be more understanding like u??no doubts in me...i dun have to say anything yet u know i how feel....

Do everything have to spelt out clear for the other party to truly know how u feel??somewhere in me i'm feeling sad & disappointed...ppl doubting my feelings,my trust and committment level,and thinking i'm taking somebody for granted....really sad to hear all these.Dun one listen with their heart anymore??shdnt we be following our heart??haiz.....honestly duno man!i'm lost again....yes...vic's lost...

i want my dose of alcohol.....badly!!!and fark i'm sick agian....stopid cough coming back...with its best friend....FLU.....

really tired...gota go sleep....and Mic...thanks!love u too!pls continue to give me that kinda support k?*smile*

Thanks ppl.....

work's crazy man!ya....back to the stressful days again.Mum will definitely nag in the near future.Used to complain & cry to her when i 1st started doing events 2 yrs back....but now i'm back to the grave i digged!haha!!love the jobscope and stuff..but the workload,amt of stress & responsiblities can really kill!brain not able to relax and rest...really crazy....but i like..wat to do?!haha

oh ya....regarding my last blog....i'm really fine ppl!steven,mic & mishi....thanks for ur msg and sms...really appreciate that ALOT!juz being a baby lah....doing fine really!and steven maybe u're rite...i do dwell when i'm alone..too bad that's me!but no worries..when i'm not alone i'll still be the chirpy & cheerful vic!*winkz*
juz 1 word to u guys...thanks!at least i know there are still ppl out there reading my blog & concern abt my life!:)

really very appreciative this week....during my 1st day of work,alot of ppl actually msg me to ask me how my 1st day of wk is....woww...*touched* that really made my day!it really did...even rachel who dun like to sms send me a sms too......i'm definitely the luckiest ger on earth!hahaha!!the love of my frds....what more can i expect?

alright....too tired to blog...brain cells all killed today as well........

y am i feeling like i do now??

i know i shd be the happiest ger on earth this week but good things juz never seem to last for me ever.No idea y either...juz never had.

i have the supposingly nicest and bestest guy ard me yet i juz can't make myself get out of my comfort zone.Flashbacks are haunting me...very badly...& everything juz comes back to me within a night.Yes....i cant believe that either.And now guilt is all i'm feeling.Trust me i dun even know where all these are coming from...dun ask me y coz i'm asking myself that now too....

Can't believe i actually broke down in front of him...vic vic...how much more drama can u get??i really did try to control but guess the journey home was simply too long...my tears cant help but stream down my cheeks.& it honestly didnt help when he held me in his arms & said everything will be alright.Him innocently not even knowing y i cry,more guilt flows within me....

like i mention in my previous blog...i'm scared...yes even till now when i'm surrounded by endless happiness.probly i always feel i dun deserve any happiness at all.i never knew i could get so vulnerable till now...crying while blogging....how much more drama mama can i get??

The last thing he said to me was that juz tell him when i'm ready to...Oh man...like how??where shd i even start?wat shd i even tell him when i myself's searching for the ans....i'm slow...ya maybe i am.or maybe i'm not?i duno!i never fail to express myself when it comes to writing...but face to face..i totally suck!that's juz me....he asked if i cry becoz i was happy or sad...the truth is...i duno again!i'm not saying that coz i'm avoiding or something...i really duno....

i already said i didnt wana start this relationship so soon rite!!vic vic look what u have done!i dunoo!!what am i suppose to do???its juz me...yes it is!the stopid vic who always think she knows everything abt LOVE but the fact is..i'm the dumbest ger ever!

is it becoz i'm truly falling for this man that's y i'm feeling so lost?is that also the reason y i'm scared of screwing everything up?afraid i might end up hurting him and myself?afraid i cant love him as much as he does in me?He keeps telling me that he cant promise me anything but he'll try.But am i even willing to try?i honestly duno.....i really dun....i'm gona hide in my shell again.Yes...what i always do when i'm lost...hide and not accept reality.I used to have frd that tell me i might have committment prob...is that really true?scared of the big C?I DUNOOOO!

i probly cant get to sleep tonight...its already 5.04am....this feeling sucks..it really does.Juz hope tmr will do me good...Life still goes on and i'll still be vic..smiling...but cant say the same abt how my heart really feel thou.

I believe i'll look back at this blog & laugh my head off for being so drama...but i'm juz blogging what i truly feels now..the drama mama emotional vic....i hate this vic but well.....

Pic of Jess's BIG Day!

Too much to write if i gota write abt wat happened during jess's wedding....shall let the pics do all the explaining.....4 words:Super Tired But Happy!*winkz*


Jess & her ANGELS!

Bride & HANDSOME boi..haha

Jimmy's BIG brothers..

i so love this pic!

At ROM..

Finally Husband & Wife

At Jess's Suite juz before the dinner

Me,Rach,Val & Rebbecca(jess's sis)

Happy Bride with her happy bridemaids

That's the REAL jess man!!

All the bridemaids..after dinner

NITEEEE!

jess's wedding finally over!really happy for her...sincerely wish her a blissful marriage.....suppose to upload the pics for her wedding but TOOOO tired to do so...i'm so blardy tired today...really am...to the extend that even sitting down's tiring!will do that in my next blog...

Manage to catch 'Hitch' today thou....cool & funny show!wat i got out of the show's "Be Yourself & You'll Be Loved".

Is it really that impt to fall in love?my heart's telling me yes but yet somewhere in me's telling me no...no idea y either man!i have been told & jolly well know that its the most fortunate thing to be loved.is it right to allow someone new into ur heart when u know that deep down someone is still there?i know i sound stupid..keep telling ppl to move on when i'm not even practising what i preach...i really tried but failed...if entering a new relationship & trying to get over the old is considered moving on..all i gota say is that i failed twice.At the end of the day i'm still where i was...not moving an inch....

I know i need time...lots of them but how long??i wish i know that too...i admit i'm a cynic...but that's me.Cynical abt lottts of things....probly i'm scared..of wat?no idea!!probly heartache's too much for me to bear and too afraid history would repeat itself & i'll end up where i was again.......i know we will never know if we dun try..but again,do i wana risk & try AGAIN?i really duno....maybe not now...i'm not pressured..that's not the word...stress is not either..probly juz plain scared.Scared of being loved..scared to love,scared to open up myself,scared to go thru everything again for the 3rd time,scared of heartaches,scared of regrets & guilt,scared of losing a frd........vic vic....what's happening???no idea..i'm so lost..hate this feeling but well its all part of life.

Mic know u'll be reading this...no worries lah i'm fine!juz talking crap...dun have to sms me to ask me what happen k?hahaha!!probly too tired as well...i really am!!woke up so blardy early ytd(4.30am mind u!)..slept so late...woke up at 9am today..and still not asleep now..ARGGHHHH!!!!i want my 24hr of sleep back!!!!!!*cry*

MIC GER!!!

mic....mic.....mic....mic....mic!!!!!

i'm missing u...miss u so so much...!!hahaha!!i'm no les lah!now that i'm 98% recovered!!!DRINKING SESSION SHALL OFFICIALLY RESUME NEXT WEEK!!!!!yes u heard me rite.....

i've been out of action for so long!1 mth of non-alcholic day's TERRIBLE!i'm dying!!i want my weekly dose of shots...vodka lime!all nite dancing at zouk!

Thinking of it juz makes me SMILE man!!!seriously i want my alchohol NOW!yes..even if its sucky beer!!ICE COLD BEER!!!

Romeo & Juliet:::ACT 1 SCENE 5

Definitely one of my fave scene...and that's THE way to flirt man...*smile*

Romeo & Juliet (ACT 1 SCENE 5)

Romeo: If I profane with my unworthiest hand.This holy shrine,the gentle fine is this:My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand.To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss.

Juliet: Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much,Which mannerly devotion shows in this;For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch,And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss.

Romeo: Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too?

Juliet: Ay, pilgrim, lips that they must use in prayer.

Romeo: O, then, dear saint, let lips do what hands do;They pray -- grant thou, lest faith turn to despair.

Juliet: Saints do not move, though grant for prayers' sake.

Romeo: Then move not, while my prayer's effect I take.Thus from my lips, by yours,my sin is purged.

Juliet: Then have my lips the sin that they have took.

Romeo: Sin from thy lips? O trespass sweetly urged!Give me my sin again.

Juliet: You kiss by the book.

4 more days to Jess's Wedding

juz reached home....met up with the gers for nearly the whole day today!rach & mic finally got their dress...suppose to be feeling happy after meeting them but somehow i'm sitting in front of my com feeling pretty down...no idea why...probly coz i'm too tired and hungry.My back's giving me prob again,feeling rather fustrated.

not hungry when i was out with the gers..so didnt eat.Now that i'm home..feeling soooo hungry!lazy to cook maggie...nothing to eat at home....Arrgghh!!feel like eating handmade noodles so badly...........maybe will call kel later ask him if he wants to go eat supper....I'M REALLY HUNGRY!!need to talk to someone as well..who else better than my guru......

my cough's finally getting better...no longer coughing like before..still will cough but at least not as bad....that's one good new for sure..after 3 weeks of suffering man!

too tired & hungry to blog liao.....

It's raining man!

its the weekend again....how fast ya!and it's finally raining!!well at least it did this morning when i woke up....it was pouring man!!thanks for the ride this morning kel!appreciate that ALOT~!!paiseh couldnt make it for breakfast...but supper again anytime man!hahaha!!

had a little 'relative outing' today...grandpa's death anniversary so everyone sort of met up to pray.Afterwhich me,mama,2 aunties and 3 cousins went to town jalan jalan...had dinner...town was damn packed!!always hated going there during the wkends but well....no choice!hahaha!!it was all good anyway,havent gone out like that for a long long time......

meeting the gers tmr to finalise the stuff to do on jess's wedding!how to 'torture' jimmy...hahha!!as well as to help out jess lah..she seems really stress lately over her wedding....wow...5 more days to her wedding man!!before that will meet up with rach 1st to go buy her dress.She hor..aiyo!!wat else can i say!!hahah!!have not been attending mass regularly...I'LL BE GOING MASS TMR...i hope!hahahah!yes...i will go for confession next week...THAT i really would be....hahaha!!

saw this really cute little twin star toy at cineleisure today!!!but was hesitating coz i got nowhere else to put my toys anymore!!gona revamp my room...soon!hahah!!yes i really will..in order to accomodate more stuff i've got to....i sooooo love little twin star!!and daffy duck.....havent seen him ard much after Warner Bro close down...how sad!and yes...my best frd..Monkeys!hahaha!!mic if u r reading this,stop laughing!nothing wrong with liking monkeys alright!have a new liking for Spongebob!!!havent been collecting yet but would love to get a Patrick soft toy thou...haha!!he's so adorable!that super blur look..haha!!!

woke up so early this morning....so real tired now......lets' pray that it'll rain tonight.......PLS DO!

When will i get well??

yes..i'm STILL gona complain abt my sickening cough....haiz!!kept coughing at wk till everyone's like..VIC!u alright???haiz........dun even dare to pick up the phone!cant even speak a full sentence w/o coughing!!and my voice sucks now man!!

Rach still didnt manage to get a dress!!aiyo!!!she keep saying still early...she hor!!never change her being last min habbit!

Told Kenny to keep a look out of nice big face watch when he goes Bangkok...and he really bought me one!!hahaha!!!so nice of him.....design a little funny but ok lah..nice!hahhaa!!!STILL i want my DKNY watch............I WANT!!!

Jess juz email me her wedding pics...so nice!!hahah!!i also want to get married liao lor!*envy*

Really gota attend Novena this week onwards already....duno y but juz wana.Havent been getting my peace ever since i fallen sick.Nothing seems right or going my way.In fact feeling pretty miserable on the inside.Sick as i may be but its only through these times that i realise how impt my frds were to me.Frds that bother to send me little sms to see how i'm doing,frds that avoided food that they like to accomodate me,frds that bought me cough sweets,frds that call & ask how i'm doing every now & then,frds that reccomanded me different cough remedies,frds that told me to stop clubbing & drinking(cant believe it!!),frds that even bought me a get well cutie bear that absolutely made my day!Trust me....all these will always remain in my heart.I always appreciate little gestures like that from frds....love u all peeps!Console myself at the end of the day that its not that bad to fall sick...coz u truly see who's there for u......*smile*

Taken my medicine....time to Zzzzz......*damn*

Stopid ME!

i actually forgot to bring my wallet out today!!ARGGH!cant take cab!!cant draw $$!!luckily in the afternoon met up with mama..else!!

mama bought me story books today...hahah!!happy happy!so many books i wana buy... kino at bugis got nothing much...still prefer the one at taka...but still manage to get 2 books..hehe!!

still no sign of improvement for my coughing man!!haiz...mama juz bought a new cough syrup for me to try...ewww!!its terrible when i'm in an enclosed area..like the bus,a room,cab......SUCKS man!!2 weeks of torture......ARGGHHHH!!!and the air's so bad lately.....!havent had spicy food for the last 2 weeks...juz added a LITTLE chilli to my wantan mee earlier and i cough like hell....end up not finishing it...HAIZ!!!only had yusheng for dinner...now so blardy hungry!in fact i'm always hungry lately..ever since i had that stopid cough & sore throat,either i'll skip my meal or end up not finishing.......SAD SAD SAD!!i wana eat good food!!!!!*cry*

Val juz sms me say wana go dbO!ARRGGHHH!!!!CANNOT GO..........BUHUHUHU!!!!!1st time rejecting her when it comes to going dbO!!never go zouk for steven's bday as well...HAIZ!!!dun even remind me....I'LL BE BACK!!

Gota wk tmr liao...after wk will go shop shop for rach's dress!she dun have much time left...7 more days to jess's wedding!!hahaha!!

Oh man...sales sales sales everywhere!!so many things so little $$$!!!i wana go shoppping!!Joy!!when u coming back from aussie???miss u liao!!hahaha!!!

Mama start nagging again.......time to eat sucky medicine AGAIN!!!!!*sulk*

Wat a Week man....

haiz....wat a week man!!sick sick sick..thought i had recovered but was so wrong...my coughing got worse...very worse!juz seen a doc again..MORE MEDICINE!!!*puke* eat till i'm feeling so weak....havent been eating much lately as well...life's so miserable!!*cry*

Yes Mic i got ur msg!!i wana go UK funfair too!!wait till we get better ok??Very soon i hope!!sorry havent been answering ur calls...either i was asleep or didnt wana talk....will call u to chat when i get better alright?Thanks for ur concern as well...*muack+hugz* send my apologies to steven as well....

Oh ya finally got my dress!!yeah!!and guess wat..its on 50%!!i'll be cursing myself if i bought it before the sales man!!CK Tangs rockz!!hahah!!so happy when i saw that it was on sales!and i LOVE the dress!!so nice....hahah!!wow...9 more days to jess's wedding!!how time flies man!!its always such a blessing to attend weddings...somehow everyone'll be in the 'i wana get married mood'...well at least i would!hahah!!

not gona 'lor-soh' too much today...gota go take my sucky medicine & zzzz AGAIN!!!

Its a blardy HOT day!

Happy happy day today!!haha!!went out with mama in the afternoon and we bought quite alot of stuff!!my walking atm...hahaha!!!bought 2 bottoms...some cosmetics and a nice top!!mama bought 2 tops as well.....YEAH!!shopping never fails to make my day...esp when i dun have to pay!!hahaha!!but i treated her to lunch at chinaaquare...so i'm not THAT bad...hohoho!!

Haiz.....my shopping list's getting longer and longer each day!!so many things so little $$!!1st on my list is that DKNY watch....LOVVVVEEE it..but close to 200+...thou i like the white face one better..STILL its like $170+!!*cry*!!mama's gona sponsor half for my dress liao so dun want her to sponsor my watch as well....BUT!!haiz!lets see what else...oh saw a pair of pumps at chinasquare juz now!!49 bucks!!but its cute thou....if i buy mama surely nag say buy shoes again?!wana buy sneakers as well...clothes..SKIRTS!wana watch Romeo & Juliet's theatre play.....Arghhhh!!!!going crazy juz thinking!!

Yes MIC..haha!!know me so well rite....know i'll not eat thinking no one in the world knows!hahah!!i cant swallow pills like u alright!!can swallow a 50cent coin size pill...!haha!!but yes i'll TRY to take them regularly and get well asap so can go drinking with u asap!didnt know u are so naggy....hohohoho!Mic know u'll be reading u..wana go UK funfair????*winkzzzzzz*

have been talking to izaar lately..to be honest other than kelvin,izaar's the next best person to talk to man!i enjoy talking to like minded ppl...engaging in conversations that will blow me away!!dun know how others feel but i'll do anything for a good conversation...not easy to find alright!i always feel that i shd go join some debate session coz there's always something i can say at the end of someone else's sentence..yet ONLY with kelvin & izaar,i simply become speechless!like a little ger listening to God speak..yes they are kinda THAT powerful!hahah!!that's y whenever i have doubts or unsure abt stuff or the deeper things in life...they'll be the ones i'll call..yes only them!!u can always chat/talk with other ppl but its juz different!!or shd i say i'm different...i need more than juz plain advises which i can tell myself if you know what i mean!(i'm pretty powerful myself..i think!haha!so i'll need someone more POWERFUL!)

but i'll chose izaar over kelvin coz we share the same sense of humor!!DRY SENSE!!i like!!hahah!!we're always sarcastic to each other yet we'll never take it serious...i always say he's the perfect example of an idiot..& u guys go think what he'll reply!hahaha!!!if u have been following my blog since long long ago...yes i did say izaar's the kinda guy i like!never ashame to admit that...hahaha!!!like guys with the 'mature/cool' kinda humor...not the u know..irritating/lame/try too hard/dirty kind.

Alright..gota go watch telly di!!havent bathe either....CIAO!!

Wat's happening to my VOICE?!

Was forced to go see a doc today..mama threaten to not let me out of the house unless i go see a doc!!!*CRYYYY*now gota eat medicine somemore..and i'm sure a pills idiot...damn!!!

juz had dinner with the gers....lazy to download the pictures so will leave it for tmr...hahah!!jess has 'grown' again!!!Wowowowow!!was discussing abt her wedding...so so cannot wait!!!less than 15 days!!scary rite......but so exciting!!gota go search for my morning and evening dress di...like as if its my wedding man!!gave the gers a ppt slideshow that i did up not too long ago(valentine day pressie for them)...juz recieve a very touching sms from jess regarding the ppt,its really nothing lah..juz feel like doing alittle something.Glad she liked it too!!*smilez*i love u too jess!!hahah!!

tmr gota head to the gym...havent been to the gym since last week...somemore was ny..then last few days sick never go!after that might go dinner with parents or go watch constantine with rach!!YEAH!!!finally geta watch that show liao....

haiz...gota go bathe then eat sucky medicine liao...else mama will never stop nagging!!!ARRGGHH!!!and my voice sounds scary now man.....EEEEWWWW!!!!i'm like Shrek!!will change when it past midnight!!!haha!!

There're so many food i wana eat!!But cant...

Valentine day but never recieve flowers...no pressies...*cry* mum was juz saying this yr no flowers ah....damn!my cupid's not wking today man!How sad!

slack at home...having coughing fits all day so no point going out anyway!having block nose and everything's tasteless!!blahhhh.....so didnt eat much either....feels like shit to be sick man!mum's endless nagging......Argghhh!!!have been eating shity food lately...mum cook porridge,noodle soup...and all can't add chilli...juz now dip a little and i choke till mum scolded me....BU HUHUHUHUHU!!!*sulk*

meeting the gers for dinner tmr!!gona 'lou yu sheng'!!hahaha!!so happy can see the gers again....going jimmy's dad place to eat.But well everything'll be tasteless so what's the point...

damn!!till now still havent manage to catch Constantine!!wanting to watch the show since last yr when i saw the shots.....rach says tmr after dinner or wed will watch with me.HOPE SO!!!!so many good shows lately...all i wana watch!!wana watch Hitch too!and how can i forget SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!!!YEAH!!!cant wait.......

Boring day today so nothing much to blog..........did someone juz say its Valentines' Day??

No food for the whole week?!

today's a really bad day man....not feeling well yet still gota spend my afternoon trying to expain stuff that i still do not see where the prob lies!how i hate chatting with ppl who do not see my point at times...ppl who chose to read between the lines...ppl who doubt and not trust what i said..and he actually used payback time..hello!!think i'm better than that alright..not so petty till have to do stuff like that!damn!& i seriously hate it when ppl watever me!Fark man!!how rude is that?!WATEVER!!!this word shd be banish from the dictionary man!

have been feeling ill since last nite already....coughing like i juz kana TB!!cough till i puke!and got nag and scolded by mum somemore..for being sick!!how sad rite...then this morning got fever...38.2...think the flu bug's landing soon as well....wat a way to start my new week ya!!damn!(and mic if u r reading this i'm sure u are the carrier...HEADQUARTERS!)

Val juz sms me saying she juz broke off with her bf....really appreciate her letting me know and confiding in me.Like what she said,i was rite from the beginning abt their relationship...but that's not the point lah.Like i told her,at the end of the day if she think what she's doing is rite then all we can do is to support.And Val is someone that i always have faith in..one whom i admire alot coz once she step foot on something,she never look back till she succeed.same when it comes to relationship...she never dwell and get back on her feet real fast...that's the way ger!!

back to my coughing fits....i'm seriosuly coughing till my stomach hurts..my back starts to hurt AGAIN!!and now i dun even dare to talk...coz i never know when i'll start coughing non-stop......*cry* my mum dun even allow me to eat spicy food and chilli till i recover!!ARRGHHHH!!!!!!!isnt that telling me no food till i recover?!what's life w/o spice/chilli??????

Pictures!Yeah!

these are some pictures taken on the 2nd day of cny...too lazy and tired to upload..so only 3 pictures...*smilez*


mama,puppy & moi!


me & mama!


me and my cousins!

Dreamland?!

Nice Pic!


we've come so far...


best sisters!

did i drink alot today?!no idea man....juz had prata with val & rach at thomson!!YUMMIE!!!!but too shaq to blog........Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Is there truly a pot of gold at the end of each rainbow?

Is it always disappointment after having hope?is there truly a pot of gold at the end of each rainbow?i never like to have hope in everything i do..for a very simple reason...i'm afraid of disappointment...very for a matter of fact.

Optimist i may be,but at times i can be vulnerable too...so much that i can no longer comfort myself.Totally lost control over my mind and heart...no longer know the Vic that i myself know......i have to admit i'm a very down to earth & rational lass but this time round,i'm not so sure.Feels like the whole world had juz came crushing down on me...every little thing will trigger my tears now...my tears have been so worthless lately.

I juz wana be left alone....very alone..juz me,my CD,my monkey and my worthless tears.....

Bread or Love?

stayed home the whole day today....didnt even go to church....gota go confession next sat...bu huhu(mama kept nagging)

managed to pack my room today..hahha!!not a fantastic job but STILL!!packed and came across some stuff that brought back many memories..sms Hanse a while ago and got the good news that he'll be getting married soon.bitter-sweet for me thou...sincerely happy for him that he has found his true happiness,yet on the other hand a little disappointed.Guess that's life ya..what's urs will never run and wat's never to be urs will never ever be.....i've learnt that the hard way,very hard.Its such an ironic feeling,when a couple's in a relationship,they'll say/plan so much for the future,wat to expect together..blah blah....then at the end of the day u see the other party end up with another gal/guy..its simply an awkard feeling..if that's the word to use.Have been saying very cliche stuff lately but well..if u truly love someone,u would want him/her to be happy,be it with u or someone else.REAL TOUGH but life sometimes juz leave us with not much choices...

gota head to the gym tmr!slack for the whole week so tmr gota buck up!hahah!!will go chinatown 1st to get some CDs...wana get the Jay Chou live in concert.Finally no work this week so better do the stuff i wana do man!!After chinatown will go gym..then do some last min shopping!hahah!!wana get shoes!!!

like i mention in my last few blogs...did ALOT of thinking lately...shared some,kept some...thinking abt my journey thru life...i wouldnt dare said i've been thru alot but definitely enough to reflect.Wat i thought were impt to me in the past are no longer impt anymore...and vice versa.One very big issue's $$...it can no longer satisfy me.I'll be slapping myself if i'm to say its not impt..but surely not THAT impt.Wat Rach always say to me,if a prob can be solved using $$..it'll no longer be called a prob.How true isnt it?but yet there're so many things in life that cant be bought or be solved using $$!can we buy back time??How i wish...(i really do!)but we cant..$$ can only bring us happiness from the outside in...its true happiness that comes from the inside out.A very cliche sentence again...Bread or Love?i would definitely chose bread in the past...but now?Love....guess i need not explain any further..material over emotions??nahh...not for me!bread & Love..both happiness ya..but bread satisfy us from the outside in..Love??its only emotions that comes from the inside....seriously...how many of us can really find true love???i believe i had,but yet i allow it to slip thru my fingers.....

Lord,will you bring him back into my life again?I'm sure regret's a form of punishment for me from You...but i truly ask You Lord to give me a 2nd chance.......if only You are listening to my prayers....Amen

Class 95 rocks tonite!

out the whole day with rach(half a day to be precise)...both of us went home feeling damn pissed!but well...we honestly dun have to over a not very impt person...crap!!

went last min cny shopping..haha!!i finally bought SOMETHING!not quite in the mood to shop lately so ya...rach's going on a 'hot date' tmr!!!!hahaha!!wish her all the best man!!we had a really good chat these 2 days(face 2 face,phone & msn)...told her stuff that have been in my heart all this while..stuff that happened lately,stuff that i thought i would never ever share with,stuff that have been so close to my heart..felt really good after talking & sharing.So much had happened lately,so its great to have a frd to share it with..a frd who's always there...and thanks for putting up with all my endless complains....honestly i really duno wat i'll do w/o rach this buddy...she too shared alot with me and i really appreciate that!most imptly thanks for always standing on my side and never doubting wat i do or the decisions i made....that's wat true frds are for!*touched*

me & rach went serangoon gardens last nite with 2 other frds for dinner...a shitty evening but other than that the sushi teh there's quite cool!!food alright lah..but atmosphere really good(gota remove ur shoes!!).Always enjoy gg to the coffeebean there but last nite was a total disappointment..dun wana bring it up anymore.But me and rach had fun walking home..to HER HOME in fact...CHEATER!!!!hahaha!!but we had a good walk and a good chat too...gossip and juz talk abt EVERYTHING!(gota know something from rach that pissed me off big time too!)that's the kinda conversation i enjoy..me & rach have develop some kinda telepathy thingy lately...hahahaha!!!its really cool!!guess i really cant run away from this good frd man!!

gota stay home to clean my room tmr.....my mum simply ignore my messy room!!!haiz....alright lah...gota do wat i gota do rite...bo bian!!cant believe it'll be a NEW YR in 3 days time!have already made plans for my cny holidays...hahah!!wed going dbo drinking with RACH!yeah!then sat gg dinner at jimmy's place with the gals!follow by KTV!!!Yippie!!!!cant wait!!havent seen jess for a while....juz recieve her wedding invite today..less than a mth to her wedding!!!wahhhhhh!!!THAT I REALLY CANT WAIT!!!*BIG SMILE*

**Class 95's playing really cool songs tonite!lalala.....laalaalala**

6 more days to CNY??

Another tired day juz past....

Suppose to go drinking with mic but gota wk OT and reallllly damn tired as well...with my damn backache..no amt of alchohol can make me smile anymore man!*cry*

its less than a week to cny!!omg!!so fast.......still havent got my ny clothes...but this yr i'm really not in the mood...dun even feel the presence of cny approaching...not a tiny bit of it....but i know i can have a good rest!!THAT'S FOR SURE!juz wana 'nua' at home.......

Have plans to go dinner with the gers during cny..but no idea where!!jess cant eat seafood so alot of chinese restaurant's out....my mind's really blank...IDEAS IDEAS!!!i need ideas!!

i know i'll sound like a whiny,grumpy woman again but my stoopid backache's really killing me and sucking up ALL my energy!that sounds so cliche but it really is!i'm going crazy man!!its making me soooo pek cek every single day!!nothing seems rite..the worse part is that the pain's so irritating till its affecting my beauty sleep...KILL ME MAN!!can u imagine...feeling damn tired physically yet cant sleep....torture sia!!esp for someone who lovessss to zzzzzzzz.....

Haiz...morale have reached -1000000 lately...doing lots of thinking..thinking and thinking...have not over worked my pweeny brain for a while already!so much comes into my mind..people,scenerios,past happenings,decisions that i have made over the yrs,regrets,happiness..........

i'm tired...too tired to think,too tired to type....guess i can only pray.....

Remember,O most gracious Virgin Mary,that never was known that
anyone who fled to your protection,implored your help,or sought your intercession,
was left unaided.Inspired with this confidence,i fly onto you,Virgin of virgins,my Mother.To you i come,before you i stand,sinful and sorrowful.Mother of the Word incarnate,despise not my petitions,but in your mercy hear and answer me. AMEN

I've never felt like this before.....

it has been ages since i last blog......i'm honestly getting bored of blogging liao...who comes to my blog anyway?!but well...

feeling physically stressed lately...my backache's acting up again....its really spoiling my mood and i absolutely hate it!hate it when i'm not able to control my own emotions..1000000 times worse than PMS..I SWEAR!it got so bad till its affecting my sleep and my daily life....haiz....dun wish to cont..

i'm seriously dead beat..i need a good rest...a good sleep....and a good shoulder to cry and lean on.....so much have happened within the span of a week....is it day or night now?monday or tue?dead or alive?i have no idea....

O Most merciful Lord
You are the God who works wonders
In my great need & distress
I open my heart now before You
Through Your apostle, St Jude
May Your will be done in my life

*snore*

havent been feeling too well today so slept for the entire afternoon....still tired now thou..*yawn*

still!!!!!tmr's wed and i still would go for my weekly doze of alcohol at dbO..haha!!this time round rach will be gg with me along with mic obviously..haha!!got an interview tmr and thur...*keeping my fingers crossed*

izaar's band will be performing at Istana Park this sat....told him to look out for the ger with 2 pom poms!MOI!hahaha!!kidding lah..but if i'm free might really drop by..honestly wana see his band perform..

Alright...today's blog will be short & sweet...still not too well(not thinking well either) & wana go zzzzzz..nite ppl...

i'm tired...

was out the whole day with zhihong..went to watch Shall We Dance...WAH!not bad actually...RICHARD GERE!!total to die for man!!if only my dad looks like that boi!!AWWWWWWW.....*drool*

hahaha!!enough crap...after that walk walk ard...went bugis for dinner..had DUCK RICE AGAIN!!!hahaha!!i'm totally in love with braise duck rice lately man!!VERY till my mama's going crazy coz everytime she ask me what i wana eat i'll say DUCK RICE!heheh!!after dinner we walk to esplanade..hang ard there chit chat..walk somemore to boat quay..then some more to Raffles City..THEN somemore to PS...hahaha!!nowadays i'm so addicted to walking...walking and long distance walking!hehe!we then settle at Starbucks and chit till 11+...WAT A TIRING DAY MAN!hahaha!!but it was fun lah...catching up on old times....

oh ya..went jb on fri with mag and i totally HATE the msian custom!!THEY REJECT MY PASSPORT PHOTO!!!damn!!and put an ugly remark asking me to change my pic..and they are damn rude!!!F*** them man!!haiz...so sometime this week gota go down SIR to change....blardy hell....waste time

my wkend have been gd so far..finally done with my 9 Novenas!!so proud of myself..heheh!!but think i'll still cont bah...THINK!hehehhe!!my plan for tmr...head to the gym..walk ard then probly come home and play my SIMS City...hahahah!!so into it lately.......till mama keep nagging.....but STILL!!!hahah!!ok dorky..i'm honestly very tired......ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Boring Life

suppose to hit the gym today but...haha!!plain lazy....

stayed at home..slack..watch dvd..surf net..Zzzzzz!!going jb with mag tmr...probly not gona do much shopping since i'm pretty broke!got so many things to buy...and jess's upcoming wedding!aiyo..$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!

Went drinking with mic last nite...had dinner with rach and jess as well b4 that...dbo was boring since there was this dating thingy..hate events!but it wasnt that packed anyway!head to zouk ard 11..music sucks man...left ard 1am..and Jess how i miss clubbing with u!reach home juz in time to watch the repeat of a tvb drama..hahahahaha!!!

damn boring....haiz!!wana go out also sian..duno where to go and who on earth will be free at 4pm in the afternoon?!haiz.......guess the only thing to do now is Zzzzz!Good nite...

its 12am sharp!

there goes another week...tmr's a NEW week again!how time flies man........

Went 'gown hunting' with rach today....set!!i'm be getting this black gown at ck tang..haha!!really love it!then rach saw one at daniel y...HOT PINK!!hehehe!!but quite nice lah!now left with white dress...hmmmm.....will c c look look lor...not easy to find nice white dress...earlier today we went some bridal shops to check out the rental rates...haiz..was telling rach y am i here with u man!!shd be searching for gown with my prince charming mah!!haiz...hahaha!!

my sunday was quite normal lah...met rach go orchard,had early lunch at sakei sushi(wrong spelling i think)..show her the dress i wana buy..then went with her look for hers..afterwhich went tanjong pagar...went back town...shop a while more then head to bishan...so blardy crowded...sian!!duno y now i seem to hate crowd..ALOT!!i was reminded by rach that we are only a mth away fron cny!!WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!think as we grow older..cny seems pretty meaningless ya...boring!but this yr probly will get the gals to my place bah...will see how lah..else will see can go whose place lor..play mahjong!hahaha!!

oh ya...can mention alittle abt my jb trip with mama on fri!its suppose to be me who do the shopping but apparently it seems like its mama who's doing the buying!!she bought 5 top and a skirt!!in 1 shop!!can u imagine!!haha!!but i also not bad lah..bought 4 pair of shoes...wahahah!!might be gg again with mag this fri...wahaah!!

ok lah...gota go watch telly liao!!

P/S:Mic, know u'll be reading this..honestly touched & flattered by ur appraisal in ur blog..guess i cant escape being ur frd ya!haha!!thank God for our fellowship!no prob man!glad u took my advise positively,u shd know..i never say nice things to keep u floating in the sky coz i know we cant cheat ourselves...not for long at least!hope u'll be strong and yes i know u can do it ger!!will keep u in my prayers...jia youuuuu!!!*smile*

2005 better be good!

heheh!!juz bought the jackie chuang's new cd..so nice!!i like 'ai wo bei zho'!!lalalalaa!!!me fave song of all all time man!!

going jb with mama tmr....havent been there for a long time man!!suppose to go with mag but well she cant make it this week....haiz....k lah...go with mama means got walking atm!!wahahaha!!!shoes shoes here i come!!!

there goes 6 days of my 2005....had my 1st drink at acid bar with rach ytd..hahhaa!!!stupid me ya...got free flow at dbo dun go went acid bar instead!mic if u r reading this...next week k?hehehe!!my 1st movie of 2005..Meet the Fockers!DAMN funny!!!hahahha!!Asss-HOOOle...hahahahahahaha

think at this moment there's only 1 thing in our mind...jess's wedding!!THE BIG DAY!!!hahaha!!since we are the bride's maid..we gota doll ourselves up..gota get new clothes!!trust me its even more impt than chinese new yr!!hahahaha!!!really cant wait...its the 1st time one of my close frd's getting married and being so involved in it feels great!

have been thinking..wat have i done for 2004?honestly i have no idea...like my msn nick, 2005 better be good!!i'm praying hard.....before i know it i'll be turning 23...such a bitter sweet number..its my fave age..y i have no idea..i juz wonder at times...wat are some other 23 yr old doing..wat have they accomplish in life?and looking back on myself....sucks ya...so i shall not go there...not even close!

Guess in life we can only look forward and not look back...too many things to reflect and regret..my life have been full of regrets(how sad)..decisions that i juz wonder y?!decisions made where at the end of the day i juz feel like kicking myself...VIC!!y do that for!?or VIC!!y say that?!i duno..i really dun....and i'm talking abt decisions that i really might regret for the rest of my life....but well!!wat's done is done..wat's said is said....at times ppl and time really make me come back to reality...was talking to mic last nite and she said time can heal(think again)...it don't seem the case for me....it really don't...time is simply not at my advantage..the longer the time..the deeper the hurt....maybe its all these lessons learnt that made me who i am now.Always think before i speak or act.Coz i know there's no longer room in my heart for any more regrets....not even abit

OK!!!!shall not go into the chim chim things in life!!hahah!i've been repeating the same song for the last half and hr!!time to go bom bom and watch telly!!!hahaha!!*enjoy*

HELP!

having gastric...so shitty!!!the moment i reach home till now!!!ARRGGHHHHH!!!!!!

Last Few pics of 2004(clubbing i mean)

Our last few clubbing pics...haha!!how i know?coz everytime we go dbo our pic will be taken and will be posted on the dbo web....so i know....hhaha!!well...these will not be the last!!i'm pretty sure of that!!*winkz*


our last clubbing trip for 2004!!(i think)


nope..this was THE last...

RAIN!!RAIN RAIN!!!!

*yawn* juz woke up...damn tired!!during my 2 nites at downtown east i did not sleep!!can u imagine...48hrs!!crazy man!!but it was fun!!had lots of fun with the gals & mic u the ger too ya!!no sleep for 48hrs too!!hahha!!haiz...but damn!!today while i was downloading my pic...duno what the fark happen...all kana deleted!!!!so heart pain!!!luckily never take too many pictures...but still!!!

chalet was fun...countdown was alright too!!but too bad for the 3 days it kept raining...haiz!!!!never went WWW..so stayed indoors most of the time(play mahjong!)....on sat night after bbq Zhihong actually brought us to changi see ah gua & geylang to see u know wat lah ya....hahhaa!!!

So fast its already the 3rd day of 2005!!juz like my msn nick...2005 better be good!!but still wat a way to end 2004...Tsunami and stuff...such a tragic but well i'm sure all the victims and their family will be in our prayers...for a long time

today i'm really super lazy....no mood to do anything!!!hahah!!lazy to eat..lazy to blog..lazy to everything lah!!wanted to go gym but woke up so late..raining somemore..going tmr..hahah!!Jackie Chuang's new live album like not too bad rite..the one where he re-sung all the other singer's songs....hmmmmm.....esp my fave song 'ai wu be zho'...SO NICE!!!!!!

k lah...so hungry!!!going for dinner liao!!!Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz